Monday, August 5, 2013

Long-distance relationship advice

Hey ladies!

Just so you know, I've really been getting into this blog called "The Dating Divas" and since you all know how much I like writing about men, well it's really my cup of tea. But there are two problems with going to their blog.

1. The writers are married, so a lot of this stuff is for people who live together, which Kyle and I don't.
2. A lot of their "Love on the Go" advice (Cutesie little things to do so your man knows your thinking of him) is for people who have access to their men 24/7. Which I don't, seeing as this summer we're long distance.

Now, reading all of their posts, and their date ideas, and their stories, really gets me excited to go back to school, where I'll only be a few blocks away from him and I can just date the s- out of him. But as for now, I'm stuck 200 miles away, and those little things I would normally do, like ask to come over, or make him something sweet, or maybe write him little notes and leave them on his desk or something, just won't work. We have to make it work over texting and calling and skyping. Ugh.

Now, this got me thinking, wouldn't it be nice if there were somewhere to go where there was someone I could relate to? Someone who makes this whole long-distance thing sound like it's worth it? Well, that's what inspired me to write this list.

So here's a list of advice for women in long-distance relationships. I hope this helps.

1. Be like a teenager and text him all the time! Every second you have, just tell him something cute.
2. Don't stop at texting, actually call him. You'll be surprised at just how much it makes you feel better to just hear his voice.
3. If you can't leave him cute little notes in his apartment, then you can leave him cute little notes in creative ways. Post on his facebook, or you can download the whiteboard app and draw on a cute picture of you two, just something like "I'm such a lucky girl to have found my prince charming" or something like that.
4. Skype, Skype, Skype. Although sometimes Skyping makes me sad, because I want to actually see him in person instead of through a computer and it makes me sad that I can't.
5. Never wear out the "I LOVE YOU" texts. They can be very comforting.
6. Make plans to see each other, and not just a "I need to get up there to see you" or "come visit meee!" No, actually make definite plans attached to a date and follow through. These visits may make your life a little tough, but going a month and a half without seeing your love is much tougher emotionally, so working a little overtime and a little late-night planning is worth it.
7. Daydream about time with him. It does wonders for the soul.
8. This may make you sad, but look through pictures of you two together. It'll make you smile.
9. When you feel that gut-wrenching hurt because you miss him so much, don't be afraid to cry. Just let it out. Sometimes we need to do that to make ourselves feel better.
10. Watch a really really sad Nicholas Sparks movie. It'll make your life seem so much easier! Promise!
11. If you're tired of being sad, be busy instead. Sign up for church choir, double your workouts, go into work more often. Do something, anything, to get your mind off of being sad, and counting down days till you see him again.
12. If you have one of his shirts or hoodies, wear it. And often.
13. Get snapchat. Nuff said.
14. Talk to someone about it. A friend, a mentor, a parent, someone! It helps a lot just to have someone offering insight.
15. Don't sit around thinking about how sad you are. You'll drive yourself crazy! Go out and have fun!
16. Make fun plans to do stuff when you're back together again. Like when he comes to see you, plan to go stargazing. Or for the first night back at school plan a movie night in your new apartment. Something to get you thinking about him.
17. Avoid the text-fighting. It is just frustrating, and it goes nowhere, and nobody wins. It's a bad idea and don't do it!
18. Buy him a gift. Broke? Make him a gift. Then wait to give it to him until you see him.
19. Tell him you miss him. He doesn't get tired of hearing that.
20. Send him something. A letter, anything. You may be reciprocated.

Feel free to offer more advice in the comment section. But this kind of stuff will make a long distance relationship work. Maybe not indefinitely, but I've gone 2 summers long distance now, and this stuff definitely makes it easier. Also, It's been a year and a half and we're still together even after 2 summers spent apart. That's gotta say something.

Keep it Classy. Keep it Country.
Gretta Patrick <3

Saturday, April 20, 2013

Give Me The Simple Life

As I looked at my notebook, the notebook that held everything, my reasons for becoming a Catholic, and all my notes from my RCIA class, I started to wonder, what would my life be like if I wasn't so materialistic. If I didn't have 7 "sratty" hair bows. If I didn't buy every sorority shirt and memorabilia that comes my way. If I didn't have my brand-new bracelet to brag about. What would happen if I just stopped buying things.

Jesus led by example, and if we all followed his example, nail salons and shoe stores would be out of business in a heartbeat, because people would realize that (although we may like to think so) buying that new pair of pumps won't make us happier. Getting a pedicure won't, and and picking up a new dress for my confirmation (although I would like to have one, as the one I brought from home is a sundress, and the weather is still cold) won't either.
It's time women, and men for that matter, faced the facts. Having nice things is just that, nice. It isn't fulfilling in any way. I think that more than anything I realize that now. It just kind of occurred to me as I was sitting on my bed, in the sheets that I dragged my mom to 7 stores to find, under the comforter that I want to replace because of a burn mark from a heating pad. Sitting beside my desk are my $145 ray-bans that I just had to have, my 7 new hair bows, my brand new fuzzy winter hat, and my new Vera Bradley bag.
None of this stuff made me happier. It's just taking up space. I'd have been fine with a plain set of bedsheets instead of the zebra ones I have now. This comforter keeps me plenty warm, even with the one brown-spot. The $5 sunglasses in my drawer would do the same job as the $145 ray-bans, I really didn't need all those hair-bows to feel like a real sorority girl. My fuzzy hat - I'd have done just fine with the brown knit hat made with love by my sister. And as for my Vera Bradley, I already have a perfectly good purse that I could still be using. Granted, I needed the new wallet, as mine had broken, but that's the only good reason I have had to buy anything lately.
What would happen if I couldn't buy anything except necessities? Would I be any less happy? I don't think so. I think that we focus too much on what we want instead of being grateful for what we have.
Instead of buying a new dress for confirmation in two weeks, I'm going to wear a pair of tights under my dress and a sweater over it, and focus on the experience rather than how I'm wearing a worn-out dress.
Instead of buying a new purse for the summer, I'm going to use one I bought a few summers back.
Instead of constantly wanting more, I'm going to stop and be thankful for what I have. 

Monday, February 18, 2013

"I'm suggesting that you're a two-way street"

Picture this: It's six o'clock on a Tuesday evening. You have homework to do, a paper to write, and a meeting in a half an hour. Is your mind on your work? Of course not! Your mind's on your man, where it always is after being away from him for 2 days.

You're feeling lonely, and that's normal. Women like attention from their men. Just a fact. You want so badly for him to ask you to come over, to go out to dinner, to go on a walk, to cuddle, to do anything, but are you telling him that? No. You're "subtle hint-ing" at it. Well, you have to be as subtle as a 12-guage in order to get a man's attention, so that won't work, and you'll most likely end up alone, eating ramen noodles by yourself and crying into your coffee. (Yes, I've been a little emotional lately)
Newsflash, it doesn't have to be like that. You could have avoided your solitary state of sadness just by saying, "I want to see you tonight," or even better, "Do you wanna come over after my meeting? I'll make Salmon." And he wants to see you too, so he says yes.
There. Problem Solved in ten seconds.

Why do women sit around and wait for their men to invite them over, when they've given no hint that's what they want. Make your relationship a two-way street, and invite him over. Women in new relationships will exude confidence to their men, while women in long-term relationships will show theirs they care. Either way, if he doesn't come over, it does not mean he hates you (promise!), it means that he's just busy, or working, or something.

If your date idea falls through, rain check! It'll give you something to look forward to, and him too. Then, you won't be waiting around any longer and your mind will be at ease.

Maybe it isn't about "waiting around for a man." Even if you have one, that doesn't mean you have to wait around for him. Make your relationship into a two-way street, especially now that the Valentine's day flair has died. Even more of a reason to spice things up!

Keep it Classy. Keep it Country,
Gretta Patrick <3

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

When Life Gives You Lemons... Blog About Them

My title today comes from a seriously messed-up turn of events that happened at about 9PM last night. Of course, I handled them as any normal person would handle adversity.

People handle adversity by:
1. Freaking out
2. Crying
3. Yelling
4. Facing it head on.

... I tend to do all four.

At about 9PM last night I realized that I had been having weird cravings lately, that I had a serious case of pizza-face acne, that I was being emotional about insignificant things, and that I had strange neck pain.

Yep, before I took 3 negative (PHEW!) pregnancy tests, I thought that those random array of symptoms meant that I had some 'splaining to do to lots of people. However, the only explanation I'd need after finding three, surprisingly cheerful little minus signs, was that stress has been causing my weird symptoms.

The heart of my stress comes from dealing with planning a philanthropy event for my sorority. Or rather, two events. One event in the immediate future, and one event in the far future. Not only is there stress involved in planning on this scale - with the emails, and the phone calls, and the text messages, and the endless supply of questions - but there is also stress involved when your plan hits roadblocks.

While I'm not going to discuss what those roadblocks are specifically, I will tell you that the blocks came up when my grand ideas hit opposition. From more than one side. Pile that on top of an approaching internship application deadline, a pregnancy scare, little sleep, and falling behind in schoolwork, and you've got a freaking out, crying, yelling mess of a college girl. Of course, after realizing that crying wasn't helping, I decided to take a short break from thinking about everything, drink some coffee, and face the problem head on.

So currently, I'm staying busy, not freaking out, and dealing with all the problems that come with all my responsibilities. 

From all this, and from dealing with all this, I have come to one conclusion:

When your life takes on more meaning, it also takes on more problems. The real test of your worth is how you deal with all those problems.

Keep it Classy. Keep it Country,
Gretta Patrick <3