Fear.

Yes. I'm scared.

I'm having thoughts; thoughts about somebody. I have feelings for someone, and the only problem is that those feelings are being overshadowed by another feeling, fear. 

Last time I fell for someone, I fell hard. He was everything I wanted. Or so I thought. That everything left though, and I must say, heartbreak is not an easy feeling to forget. There are so many things that I'm scared of. 

I'm scared that I'll fall too hard. 

I'm scared that something is going to go wrong. 

I'm scared of making mistakes.

I'm scared of feeling lost again. 

But most of all, I'm scared that I'm going to give up again, just like I did the last time. 

I know that life is about facing your fears, but that doesn't completely make them go away. And I want them to go away so badly! I wish I could just wake up one morning and completely forget why I fear all these things. But as it is, I can't get them off my mind. 

One comforting thought though is, I wouldn't even be having these fears if I didn't really like him. At least I'm allowing myself to do that! I just need to allow myself to get close. These irrational fears are holding me back though. And they only show up right when I want to get close to someone. 

Ugh.

Well, even if you're experiencing an internal conflict like I am, that's no excuse not to...

Keep it classy. Keep it country,
Gretta Patrick <3