We all know what it's like to "get comfy" in a relationship
And you all probably just rolled our eyes at that saying.
Getting comfy can be good... in some ways, but in more ways than some, it can be very bad. Why? Because it forces the relationship to lose the spark.
Tell me, what happens when a person sits down on the couch, stays there a while, and gets comfy? That person is no longer motivated to do anything. Do you see where I'm going here? Getting comfy can be, well, comforting, but it does nothing for our motivation, and it's exactly the same in relationships.
People can get comfy in their relationships. It's so easy to do. You love him, you know he's going to be around all the time, you start taking some of the little things he does for granted, you get comfy, and pppphhhhhhhh.
That was the spark. Fizzling out.
How do you get that spark back in a long term relationship?
You start dating again. Sometimes it takes a rough patch. In extreme cases, it takes a break or a break up to realize just how comfy you got, but once you realize it, you've got to do something about it, or things will end for good. You may not realize right away just how downhill things are going, but once you hit a certain point, BAM! You're snowballing down a cliff and you can't hold on to anything.
So how do you avoid that? Like I said, start dating again. You don't have to text your boyfriend how much you loved your chipotle burrito bowl. You don't have to text him about how hard your class was today, and you certainly don't have to text him constantly throughout the day.
Text him the big things, and leave the small, or otherwise funny stories for when you see him. It will save you from texting him every. little. thing. you do during the day, and you'll only be able to tell him the things that stick out in your mind when you do see him. Whether that's at the end of the day, or at the end of the week, however much you want to see each other.
Consider his feelings, and he'll return the favor
Another thing about actually dating your boyfriend, when you were first dating, were you afraid to hurt his feelings? Yes, you were. Because you were so afraid to lose him at that point. When you get the idea in your head that he isn't going anywhere, you stop being afraid to hurt his feelings. You start nitpicking, and nagging.
Be afraid to hurt his feelings. You want him to be nice to you, so be nice to him. Don't be so quick to point out the "You never do this's," and "You never do that's," because they're so arbitrary! If you constantly argue, you're taking him for granted, because you're taking for granted that he'll always be there for you, no matter how much you nag on him.
Well girls, the nagging and fighting pile up, and eventually he's going to get fed up and weighed down. Who knows what'll happen then? Do yourself a favor, and check yourself before you wreck yourself, or worse, wreck your relationship.
You are you and I am I. And in the end, if we end up together, it's beautiful.
That's one of my favorite quotes from Boy Meets World.
It's also a great piece of advice for relationships. Don't be afraid to take your own time away from him. Especially if you two don't live together yet. This is extremely hard for girls to grasp, but you don't have to see your man every day. He's going to get fed up with you. If you live together this is different, but trust me, giving yourself some "me" time, can really help you find yourself in your relationship.
Getting lost in your love may sound romantic, but it just isn't. If you get lost in your love, you lose more than yourself, you lose the relationships with your friends and family.
In a relationship, you need more than just each other, you need friends and family. So do yourself a favor, tell your boyfriend that, hey, I'm taking a weekend at home this week, and next week I'm taking a girls weekend. Oh, and I'm visiting my sister this weekend, and trust me, you'll still find time to hang out.
Absence makes the heart grow fonder and the more time you spend doing your own things, the more you'll look forward to being in his arms again. Plus, you'll be a lot happier because you're spending time with all the people you love, not just one of them.
Keep it Classy, Keep it Country,
Gretta Patrick <3
How do you keep your spark in your relationships? Tell me in the comments below!